


Refuge

by puszysty



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 17:19:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puszysty/pseuds/puszysty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From prompt: genderswap.  Louisa (female Hoshi) struggles with trusting her fellow officers after the repeated rapes of Gina.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Refuge

Louisa splashed the water over her face to try and wash away the tears. Cain couldn't see her cry.

For the four years Louisa had served on the Pegasus, she had seen a lot of things, a lot of things that would break most people. But Louisa had never been afraid, truly afraid, until now. _You should've seen the way that cylon bitch begged. "No please, stop, please stop." And she just keeps begging while I'm frakking her._ It was great. It didn't matter that she was a cylon. It wasn't that big a leap to make to start going after humans too.

It certainly wasn't like she could tell Cain about her fears. Cain might have been a woman, but she completely lacked any sense of empathy. It was what made her a great Admiral.

Louisa took a towel and dried her face. She looked at herself in the mirror to make sure she looked normal enough to report for duty. Her eyes were a little bloodshot, but that could always be explained by a lack of sleep. 

She could do this. She could get by pretending nothing had happened. She just wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to sleep at night again.

*******

Louisa could not have been more relieved when Cain transferred her to the Galactica. Avoiding _them_ would be so much easier.

The officer they sent to greet her was a young man, probably no older than 25. A year ago, she would have thought he was cute, but now she couldn't help but feel wary. 

"Lieutenant Gaeta," he said, holding out his hand.

Louisa took it and gave a firm handshake - "you can tell a lot about a person by their handshake," Cain had advised her, "don't ever give anyone the impression that you're weak" - and introduced herself. "Lieutenant Hoshi. Pleased to meet you."

"Admiral Cain assigned you to our CIC. I guess I could start by teaching you our nav system. It's probably a lot different than you're used to."

Work was good. Work kept her away from all the talk in the mess. Work kept her mind on other things. And maybe, being an outsider, she could keep her relatonships on this ship to just work.

*****

Most of the Pegasus crew had been transferred back to the Pegasus after Admiral Cain died. Louisa had gotten orders to report back to her old ship, but instead of boarding a raptor, she went straight to the new Admiral instead. She begged, pleaded, the Admiral to let her stay on Galactica. She hated to sound desperate, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Louisa didn't tell the Admiral why she wanted to stay - she didn't yet know if she could trust this commander or not- but he let her stay anyway. By the look on his face, Louisa could tell that Adama knew that the Pegasus was not a pleasant place to serve. Adama, it seemed, did have a sense of empathy. When she later found out the details about what happened with Thorne, she knew she had made the right decision.

Louisa sat at a table in the corner of the mess, trying to keep away from everyone else. Even knowing that Adama didn't approve of rape as an interrogation technique, Louisa wasn't sure she could trust the soldiers on this ship. She had trusted the people on the Pegasus, trusted them with her life. She didn't want to be betrayed like that again.

Lt. Gaeta came over and grabbed a chair next to her. Louisa wanted to tell him to go away, but rebuffing him now could make for unpleasant working conditions later. So she let him sit.

"Not a big fan of viper jocks?" he asked. "Me neither."

"Something like that," mumbled Louisa.

"You looked kind of lonely over here, so I thought I would sit down," he said. "I don't think I know anything about you. Not even your first name."

"Lt. Hoshi is fine," Louisa said.

"Yeah, for duty," he said, putting emphasis on the last word. "I'm Felix. Surely you have a first name of some sort."

"Louisa," she replied quickly. He was being lighthearted she knew, but she wasn't really in the mood for joking around. Louisa stood up and picked up her tray, meal only half-eaten. "Look, I've got to get going," she lied. "I'll see you in the CIC."

"Hey wait," Lt. Gaeta said, and reached out to grab her arm. Louis recoiled immediately, dropping her tray in the process. It hit the floor with a loud clamor.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither of them really that sure what to do. Then Louisa got down and picked up her tray, briefly cleaning up the mess she made. 'Just pretend everything is normal,' she reminded herself. Louisa took the tray to the deposit and walked out of the room.  
*****

Louisa had gone back to her rack to read. She didn't know this ship well enough yet to know where a good refuge would be. Getting lost in a book seemed like the best alternative. After a couple hours, she heard someone outside her privacy curtain.

"Lt. Hoshi?" It was Lt. Gaeta.

Louisa pulled her curtain open slightly. "I'm here," she responded.

Lt. Gaeta sat down on one of the chairs in the middle of the room. Louisa got up from her bunk and sat down on another, out of curtesy. "I was just talking with Dee-"

"Dee?" Louisa asked.

"Petty officer Dualla," Gaeta said. "I don't know what happened on the Pegasus, and I won't ask. I'm sorry for startling you earlier."

Louisa hung her head. She knew it hadn't been his fault. "It's okay."

Lt. Gaeta tentatively reached over to brush a strand of hair out of Louisa's face. She wasn't sure why, but she let him. Pulling his hand back, Lt. Gaeta said, "I could tell you that I'm not like those guys over there, but I'm not sure you'll believe me. I just...I want you to be able to trust me."

There was a sincerity in his voice that Louisa couldn't deny. She knew she was going to have to learn to trust someone again sometime. Something was telling her that maybe Lt. Gaeta was the right person. 

"I want to be able to trust you too," she replied. It was a start.


End file.
